The world has sold us a lie about sexual purity, twisting what God intended for good and labelling it outdated, restrictive, and even foolish. In doing so, it has soiled something sacred. However, the truth is chastity isn’t a limitation—it’s a gateway to freedom, clarity, and spiritual growth.
What is chastity?
Chastity is all about sexual purity, which means refraining from sexual activity and behaviours considered immoral. But it goes beyond just physical actions—it also means guarding your thoughts, words, and how you interact with others. In the Catholic faith, chastity is one of the seven virtues and the antidote to lust.
All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ," the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity. (CCC 2348)
You may have heard the words celibacy and abstinence used alongside chastity, but they’re not quite the same. Celibacy refers to a long-term commitment to avoid sexual relationships, like the vow of celibacy taken by Catholic priests and religious who dedicate their lives fully to serving God.
But you don’t have to be in a religious order to embrace a chaste life. Abstinence, on the other hand, typically means refraining from sex for a specific period.
Chastity is about freedom—freedom from the pull of lust, freedom to love purely, and freedom to live in a way that honours God’s design for you. Most importantly, sexual purity is about saying “YES” to God.
It’s about aligning yourself with His will and opening the door to His purpose for you. Thus, chastity is not just a moral checkbox—it’s a way of life that brings you closer to God, others, and the person He created you to be.
The forms of chastity
The church calls all christians to live a chaste life. How this unfolds depends on the state of life you’re in. The way a married couple observes this virtue differs from that of someone single or widowed. Hence, the three forms of chastity.
Spouse
It may sound unusual to some, but chastity is integral in marriage. In the sacred act of giving your body to your spouse, you commit to forsake all others. Self-discipline remains vital, as there are seasons when abstinence is required—whether due to illness, natural family planning, travel, or menstruation.
Moreover, couples must also guard against behaviours that defile the marriage bed, such as infidelity, pornography, and masturbation. Chastity in marriage is a beautiful expression of love and respect for one another.
Single people
In today’s world, virginity is often looked down upon or mocked as being naive. Some even joke that it’s simply a result of a lack of opportunities, an attempt to mask their own shame and guilt. But in reality, virginity is a sign of great courage, nobility, and obedience to God. It’s truly heroic!
On the flip side, you might have bought the lie and fell into sexual immorality. After years of chasing after the wind, like the prodigal son, you’ve come to your senses. While it’s impossible to get your virginity back, you can commit to living a chaste life now. You only need to repent and commit to sexual purity.
Suppose you are in a relationship. Celibacy is the game changer that you shouldn’t overlook. It clears the fog that immorality casts on your mind, helping you see relationships for what they truly are, not what lust wants you to believe. Chaste courtship allows you to honour God with your body, time, and resources. Plus, you avoid unnecessary baggage.
Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity. (CCC 2350)
Widows
We read the story of prophetess Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. After the loss of her husband, she dedicated her life to prayer and fasting (Luke 2:36-37). Similarly, we read about Judith. A woman of great beauty who chose celibacy after her husband’s death (Judith 16:22). This doesn’t mean one can’t remarry. The key is obeying God while waiting.
What does the Bible say about sexual purity?
Some claim that the Bible doesn’t specifically warn against sex outside of marriage. However, God’s stand on sexual immorality is explicit. There’s no room for debate, confusion, or personal interpretation.
Today’s culture may proclaim that “my body is my choice,” giving the illusion that you can do whatever you want. But the truth is different. The Bible is clear that your body is not your own because you didn’t create yourself.
God created man in His image; in the divine image, He created him; male and female, He created them. (Genesis 1:27).
Just as a manufacturer provides a manual for proper use, God has given us guidelines for how we live. Ignoring the manual may work for a while, but eventually, things will break down. The same applies to how we use our bodies. Though it might feel like freedom, living outside God’s design leads to emptiness and destruction.
The letter of St. Paul to the church in Corinth makes it clear that the body is for the Lord. As such, we should glorify God with our body and not use it for immorality. He asserts that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Would you enter a temple and mess it up? Most of us would pick up even the smallest litter out of respect. So why do you treat your own temple—the place where the Holy Spirit dwells—so disrespectfully? Paul asks:
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take Christ's members and make them the members of a prostitute? Of course not! (1 Corinthians 6:15)
You were not made for yourself. Your body is not for personal gratification but for worship.
I urge you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. (Romans 12: 1)
God, in His wisdom, understands the emotional, spiritual, and psychological consequences of sex outside of marriage. The pleasure is fleeting, but the baggage can last a lifetime. This is why marriage is a covenant, a binding promise honouring both partners and God.
Now, in regard to the matters you wrote: "It is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman," but because of cases of immorality, every man should have his own wife and every woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
Sexual sin grieves the heart of God. It defiles His temple, and the consequences are severe: eternal separation from God.
Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolators nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor sodomites. (1 Corinthians 6:9)
If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person; for the temple of God, which you are, is holy. (1 Corinthians 3:17)
If nothing else convinces you of the importance of chastity as a virtue in the body of Christ, let the unchanging Word of God be your anchor. His truth is timeless and unwavering, and it holds the power to remove the veil from your eyes. Let it be the light that cuts through the lies of the world, grounding you in what is pleasing to God.
How to practice chastity
In a world where fornication and adultery are so common, choosing chastity may seem countercultural, but it’s a journey worth taking. Here’s how you can start living a chaste life:
Understand God’s heart concerning sex
Satan uses the same lie he whispered in the Garden of Eden to deceive us about sex today—that God is withholding something good from us. But that’s not the case. God, who has loved you since the beginning, created sex and gave it as a gift to be used beautifully within His guidelines.
By seeking God’s heart in His Word, you’ll see He only wants what’s best for you. When you trust in His goodness, obeying His commands becomes second nature.
Change your perspective
You aren’t losing anything by practising celibacy. Instead, you’re gaining so much because your body is a vessel of worship created in God’s image. Ask Him to heal your brokenness and fill the void others can’t. When your heart is whole, you’ll view yourself and others through God’s eyes, leading you to honour your body as He intended.
Renew your mind
Chastity involves purity in your thoughts and actions. You can’t live a chaste life if the media you consume and the people you surround yourself with glorifies immorality. Change your cycle and the media you expose yourself to. It may be hard to let go, but it will strengthen your walk.
Renewing your mind is a process that starts with the Word of God. So dive in and let His truth guide you. You can only discern a lie if you know the truth.
The spiritual and moral importance of chastity
The benefits of chastity are many. For starters, sexual purity clears your mind. You’ll realise this when you take sex out of the equation. Many relationships won’t work without sex. Why? Nothing is holding them together except lust.
Suppose you are single. Instead of moving from one person to the next, you can focus on building a solid foundation for your life. When it’s time to settle down, seeking a marriage partner becomes easy, as God’s standard becomes your guide.
You can save yourself months of heartache, tears, and disappointment. You can avoid feelings of anger, anxiety, and mistrust. The time you spend in warfare prayers—fighting spiritual spouses, breaking soul ties, and rebuking stagnation—can be transformed into worship and praise to God. The thousands spent on counselling can be redirected towards other ventures.
The money spent on fleeting dates, hotels, vacations, and shopping can be put towards investments. The energy and time you spend on seduction and flirting can now be channelled into creating tangible plans for your future and working towards them.
Living a chaste life means you’re aligning yourself to God’s standards. As a result, you can invest your time, energy, and resources in His will for your life. You can focus on discovering God’s purpose for you and building your life on that foundation.
Misconceptions about sexual purity
The culture has twisted and watered down what God intended for good. In its place, it has propagated lies that have discouraged many from following God’s will. To debunk these lies, you must be rooted in the truth. Hold every misconception against the light, which is the word of God. The Bible is your true north.
There are many myths about sexual purity, spanning from the benefits, the consequences, and the applicability. Here are some of the most common ones:
- Being celibate is the magic key to finding the right spouse.
- Sexual purity is only for the singles.
- Your body will “forget” how to respond to sex.
- You won’t find an equally yoked partner for marriage.
- It’s impossible to remain pure in this day and age.
- God isn’t that serious about sexual purity. He gave us the sexual desires.
- You won’t know if you are compatible with someone if you don’t “test drive” first.
- No one is perfect. So, there’s no need to try. You’ll ultimately fail.
- There’s nothing wrong with fornication if your end goal is marriage.
- If you’ve had sex before marriage, you’re damaged goods.
- Some patriarchs in the Bible had many wives, and God was okay with them.
- You Must Be a Virgin to Practice Chastity.
- Women are the gatekeepers of sexual purity.
Celibacy is a lifelong journey
Celibacy is an ongoing commitment to purity in body, mind, and spirit. To truly live it out, you must first recognise that you can’t do it on your own. The Holy Spirit is your guide and teacher.
Instead of having a long list of do’s and don’ts, surrender to the transforming power of the Holy Ghost. Make a deliberate effort to obey His promptings. Through your obedience, you will gradually overcome the desires of the flesh.
Chastity is not just a season—it’s a lifetime of honouring God. Keep walking with Him, knowing that He will strengthen you every step of the way.
