Saying you’ll practice chastity is one thing; living that commitment out is a different endeavour. So, how do you live out chastity in your day-to-day life? Well, here are 9 practical tips to help you walk the talk.
Inner wounds healing
For many, sex becomes a way to numb pain, fill an emotional void, boost ego, or cope with insecurities. It’s often used as a temporary fix for wounds that nothing external can truly heal.
But to live a life of chastity, healing these inner wounds is a must. Start by inviting Jesus, the divine physician, to heal your heart. As the Bible tells us in Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Jesus is the only one who can restore you to wholeness, giving you the freedom to live according to His plan.
Here are some steps to begin the healing process:
- Attend healing and deliverance masses: Participate in healing and deliverance masses in your parish. These services provide powerful opportunities for prayer, inner healing, and spiritual restoration. They allow you to release your pain to God and open yourself to His healing power.
- Attend inner healing retreats: Attend inner healing retreats where you set aside days to focus on emotional and spiritual restoration. These retreats provide a safe space to reflect, process, and allow God to heal deep-rooted wounds.
- Forgive yourself and others: Forgiveness is a crucial part of healing. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and allow God’s grace to heal any shame or guilt you may carry. Also, forgive those who have hurt you so your heart remains free from bitterness and anger.
- Seek professional help: Sometimes, healing requires the support of a trained professional. Don’t hesitate to seek counselling if you need help understanding yourself or working through your struggles. A professional can offer valuable insights and strategies for healing emotionally and spiritually.
By addressing and healing inner wounds, you’ll be able to embrace chastity not as a burden but as a life-giving choice. Healing allows you to live with freedom, peace, and a deeper connection to God.
Have a prayerful life
A strong prayer life is vital to living in purity. Here are some practices that can help you cultivate a deep relationship with Jesus:
- Personal Prayer: Set aside time each day for personal prayer, speaking to God and listening to His guidance.
- Adoration Chapel: Spend time in the adoration chapel, staying close to Jesus in the Eucharist and allowing His presence to fill your heart with peace.
- Mass: Attend Mass regularly and offer your intentions to God, including those of chastity and purity.
- Rosary: Pray the Rosary daily, asking for the intercession of the Virgin Mary in your journey toward purity.
- Novenas: Do novenas like Mary Undoer of Knots, asking for liberation from the spirit of lust, or St. Michael Novena for protection and strength.
- Chaplet of the Precious Blood: Pray the Chaplet of the Precious Blood, invoking the power of Christ’s sacrifice for your healing and purity.
- Chaplet of the Holy Spirit: Ask the Holy Spirit to bestow the gift of chastity upon you.
Living a prayerful life keeps you rooted in God’s love and strength, helping you resist temptation and grow in holiness. Through prayer, you find the grace and strength needed to live a life of chastity and honour God.
Change your circle of friends
The people you surround yourself with powerfully impact your choices and values. As 1 Corinthians 15:33 reminds us, “Bad company ruins good morals.” To live a life of chastity, it’s crucial to avoid situations and people that encourage sin or tempt you away from God’s plan.
Here are some practical steps:
- Avoid near occasions of sin: Avoid places or situations that might lead you into temptation, such as clubs or isolated settings.
- Reevaluate Your Relationships: Distance yourself from people who lure you into sin, including friends, family members, or potential partners.
- Build a Support System: Surround yourself with accountability partners—people who genuinely care for your well-being and can support you on your path of purity.
Choosing your friends wisely is a key part of living out chastity. The right circle will uplift you, help you stay true to your values, and encourage your spiritual growth.
Filter the media you consume
What you allow into your mind affects your heart and actions. Thus, it’s essential to flee from sexual sin by carefully screening the media you consume.
- Movies: Avoid films that promote sexual immorality or are filled with explicit content.
- Songs: Be mindful of the messages in the music you listen to. Avoid lyrics that glorify lust or unhealthy relationships.
- Social Media: Filter out accounts and content that encourage sinful behaviour or present distorted views of relationships.
- Books: Choose reading materials that uplift your spirit and align with your values rather than those that romanticize or normalize sexual sin.
In 1 Corinthians 6:18, we are urged to “flee from sexual immorality.” Protect your heart and mind by avoiding anything that encourages sinful thoughts or behaviours. Let the media you consume reflect your commitment to purity and God’s will.
Set clear boundaries
Setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining purity in relationships. Establish guidelines with friends and potential partners about what is acceptable and what is not. This could include:
- Time and Places: Be mindful of when and where you spend time together to avoid compromising situations.
- Conversations: Keep discussions respectful and free from sexual topics or flirtation.
- Physical Boundaries: Be firm about what is appropriate, whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or other physical expressions of affection. Know where to draw the line.
Boundaries protect your heart and help you stay aligned with God’s will for your relationships. Clear, respectful boundaries help prevent temptation and ensure you honour yourself and others.
Get busy with life
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. To avoid falling into temptation, fill your time with purposeful activities. Engage in:
- Work: Stay focused and productive in your job or studies.
- Friendships: Build meaningful relationships that support your values.
- Church: Serve in your church community and grow spiritually.
- Chores: Stay active at home by helping with daily tasks.
- Hobbies: Invest time in activities that enrich your mind and soul, such as reading, crafting, or learning new skills.
When you’re busy with meaningful things, there’s less space for distractions or temptations. Stay active and let your life reflect purpose and joy in Christ.
Change your mindset
Matthew 5:29 warns, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.” Guard your eyes and thoughts, for what you gaze upon can influence your heart. Don’t linger on tempting images, whether a woman is in revealing clothes or a man in tight gym wear. Like Job did, make a covenant with your eyes to avoid lustful stares.
Also, take control of your thoughts. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Phillipians 4:8)
Fill your mind with Christian teachings, Scripture, and positive, uplifting content. When you intoxicate yourself with things of God, your mind will be less likely to entertain distractions or sinful thoughts. Focusing on Christ prevents your mind from being hijacked by worldly desires.
Go for penance
Regular penance is a powerful way to grow in purity. Make it a habit to go for weekly penance to receive grace for your struggles. Be honest in your confession—don’t just say, “I’ve had sex.” Instead, acknowledge what you’ve done: whether it’s watching porn, masturbating, adultery, fornication, or any other sin related to sexuality like homosexuality, bestiality, or incense. The more honest you are, the deeper the healing.
After confessing, make the decision not to repeat the same sins. Ask the Holy Spirit for the strength to turn away from temptation and make a firm commitment to live in chastity. This process of repentance helps you build a stronger foundation for holiness.
Fasting
Fasting is a powerful spiritual tool that helps you strengthen your will and grow in chastity. By denying yourself, you remind your flesh who is truly in control—the spirit. It is a way to humble yourself before God and focus on spiritual growth rather than earthly desires.
- Deny Yourself: Through fasting, you practice self-control and submission to God’s will, which helps you resist the temptations of the flesh.
- Stay in the Word: Meditate on the Word of God daily. Allow Scripture to speak into your life, repeating it until it transforms your heart and mind. The more you immerse yourself in God’s Word, the more you will align your life with His truth and find the strength to live purely.
- Prayers: Strengthen your spiritual life through prayer and meditation.
Fasting, prayers and meditation on God’s Word sharpen your focus, strengthen your spirit, and empower you to live a chaste life.
